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Joke of the Day

"Lindsay Lohan was released from jail early this morning and in related news, I still don't give a shit about her."

"Me: LARGE FRY! McDonald's Manager: Ma'am, you can't use the drive-thru riding a stick pony. Please leave NOW Me: I WILL CUT YOU! *sirens*"

"DATE: Ooh, such long fingers ME: Yeah, know what other long body part I have? D: I have an idea *sexy wink* M: My intestines are about 30ft"

"What time is it when 10 elephants are chasing you? 10 after 1"

"Why is six such a nervous number? **sinko says** it's because of some cannibalism story going around."

"What do you call a smart blonde? A labrador"

"What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? I can't Jelly my dick into you."

"Did you hear about the new cologne Chris Brown put out? I heard it was a real hit with the ladies."

"Why do vampires hate arguments? Because they make themselves cross."

"Trix are for kids. calling your penis trix because trix are for kids. wait no ( ._.)?"