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Joke of the Day

"I know this is only our second date, Susan, and maybe I'm moving too fast, but I'd like permission to rename your cat."

"Why do sumo wrestles shave their legs? So that you can tell them apart from feminists"

"Friday always feels like Wile E. Coyote running off the cliff and Monday is when he looks down."

"A hurricane is going to hit the east coast? Are you Joaquin?"

"Why did the bees go on strike ? Because they wanted more honey and shorter working flowers !"

"Why the turnout at Michael Jackson's funeral? He touched a lot of people."

"""Whats your biggest weakness?"" ""I'm bad at taking compliments"" ""Actually that's quite endearing"" *Leaps across table, punches him in throat*"

"Why do black people only have nightmares? Because the last one that had a dream got assassinated"

"Why did Elon Musk's wife leave him? she asked for sex and got S3X instead."

"Whats the difference between a prostitute with dysentery and an epileptic oyster shucker? The oyster shucker, shucks between fits......."