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Joke of the Day

"""murder"" she wrote ""your password must contain at least one number and one upper case letter"" the screen said ""murd3R"" she wrote, frowning"

"What do you get when you cross a lake with a deflating raft? Halfway."

"What does the Army call it's Muslim infantry units with vehicles? Mecca-nized infantry."

"Why did the dog chase the bulldozer? It doesn't like Cats."

"[meeting aboard the ISS space station] Capt: all personnel are-David sit down please Me trying to open a window cos it's stuffy: in a minute"

"I'm not racist but.. I saw a black guy running down the street with a TV and I thought ""that's mine"" Then I realized mine is at home, polishing my shoes"

"A policeman spots a woman driving and knitting at the same time. Driving up beside her he shouts out the window... ""Pull over!"" ""No"" she shouts back ""a pair of socks!"""

"What was Philip Seymour Hoffman's favorite album this year? Pure Heroine by Lorde."

"Lmao this joke has no punchline because Ellen Pao"

"Dark Humour Dark humour is not everyone's cup of liquidised dead baby"