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Joke of the Day

"How do we know dolphins are the only other animals that have sex for pleasure? They pull out."

"Did you know the earth is over 70 percent water? Now what if all that water voted"

"A good woman is easy to find... You just have to go to the cemetery and dig one up."

"What do black people drive? house prices down"

"What's being in love feel like? You know when someone cancels plans you wanted to cancel anyway? Almost as good as that."

"The Manhattan Project was not intended to create nuclear weapons, it was meant to recreate the destructive power in a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick. They didn't even come close."

"Perhaps one day he'll meet his Girl Fieri."

"How many people in denial does it take to change a lightbulb ? There is nothing wrong with the lightbulb."

"Whoever wins the Oscar for Best Sound Mixer is gonna get so much sound mixing pussy it's not even funny."

"Before I do anything important, I always ask myself ""would this gain house points for Gryffindor or lose house points for Gryffindor?"""