25442

Joke of the Day

"Did you know the earth is over 70 percent water? Now what if all that water voted"

"I'm not saying she's a whore... But if you threw her out a window she'd be deep penetrated[.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defenestration)"

"I grew up for this?"

"Steven Avery Did you see all the buzz on tv about the Wisconsin criminal that is working the system to manipulate the public for a second chance? Steven Avery no, Scott Walker!"

"I'm no gynecologist, but I'll take a look."

"I decided not to have any children. I kid you not."

"A guy I know just posted ""I'm relaxing today, don't bother me"" on Facebook, and let me tell you: I was going to bother him but now I'm not"

"Last year I felt miserable and depressed, but this year I've managed to turn it around. Now I feel depressed and miserable."

"What is Green...and Smells Like Pork? Kermit the Frog's Finger!!"

"HER: Impress me. ME: I own a record label- HER: Ooooooo ME: er. A record labelER. It makes labels for my Abba vinyls."