177253

Joke of the Day

"LIFE HACK: If ur phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night, rice will attract Asians who will fix ur electronics for you"

"Whoever named it 'rain' is an idiot. I definitley wouldve called it 'sky water.'"

"What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a cat."

"You really have to hand it to the members of the African American community."

"Private Manning will never get away with it! Corporal Klinger didn't"

"I saw a guy at an ATM with no arms, and a peg leg He asked if I would help him check his balance... so I pushed him over"

"My girlfriend told me I was one in a million When I looked through her text messages, I had to admit she was right."

"My reaction to winning a billion dollars wouldn't even come close to my 5 year old's reaction when I told him that there's no school today."

"What happens when Batman sees Catwoman? The Dark Knight Rises"

"A fight or flight situation. Like when you go to pick up your kid and the teacher's walking towards you with ""the look"" on her face."