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Joke of the Day

"Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween confused? Because: 25 DEC == 31 OCT Merry Christmas Fellow Nerds! :)"

"prophets this guy is making mines cleverly disguised as prayer mats. he says his prophets are going through the roof!"

"My boyfriend said it would be nice if once in a while he woke up to breakfast in bed... I put his bed in the kitchen..."

"What do you call a pothead with two spliffs? Double jointed"

"I got mugged in college by a gang of Asians. Two of them held me down and a third corrected my math homework before fleeing into the night."

"I know I'm supposed to be outraged about this whole NSA phone tapping scandal, but I've got to admit, its a little refreshing that after a decade of marriage, someone is finally listening to me."

"Shopping at Walmart to test my immune system."

"I'm the skeptical guy in the infomercial audience. I didn't believe a $20 food chopper could be such a good value. guess what. I was wrong."

"What's the difference between a lesbian and a Ritz cracker? Ones a snack cracker and the others a crack snacker."

"Hilary should change her name to Monica. NSFW She obviously wants the next presidents dick in her mouth the way she steals his rhetoric"