176981
Joke of the Day
"I saw an ad for burial plots and I thought, that's the last thing I need."
Next Joke
"Guess who doesn't want to hear your kid sing? Everyone. The answer is everyone, so stop it."
"I went to a library... and asked the librarian if they had a book on Pavlov's dogs and Schrodinger's cat. She said, ""Well it rings a bell but I'm not sure if it's there or not."""
"if a picture's worth a thousand words, the people posting photos on twitter are going over by 860 characters"
"What's the difference between a kitten and your wife? You actually want to cuddle a kitten after you fuck it."
"What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we don't get some support, people will think we're nuts"
"What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his butt."
"Every cab ride for me is 75% fake laughter."
"What time does Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon? Tennish."
"My daughter is getting to the age where she is asking embarrassing questions about sex... yesterday she asked me: ""Is that all you got?"""