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Joke of the Day

"No one is more excited for today than Michael J. Fox... He's been shaking with anticipation for the last 25 years."

"Lochte turns up late for his Brazil hearing... ""Very sorry Your Honour, I got held up"""

"INTERVIEWER: Why did you leave your previous job? ME: Because once they fire you they won't let you stay."

"Why did the H blow itself up? Because the Jihad."

"What stories are told by basketball players? Tall stories!"

"I slipped and fell outside today... and when I got up, my wallet and keys were missing. Must've been black ice."

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? It's gonna take me a little while to get hard, I just got laid by this chick."

"what is a feminists favorite branch of mathematics? Triggernometry"

"How do you remember your wife's birthday? forget it once."

"A rabbi, a priest, and a Lutheran minister walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, Is this a joke?"