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Joke of the Day

"Why does Michael Scott hate Hamlet? Toby or not Toby"

"What do you call a chicken staring at a head of lettuce? Chicken sees-a salad"

"Women are a lot like heroin. At first you're like, ""Oh geez, this is fun"" then eventually you die."

"I bet cats are sad that they don't have a middle finger."

"Nine out of ten doctors suggest you drink water instead of soda. The one that doesn't lives in Flint, Michigan."

"As a politician... You need to shake hands & kiss babies... ...and take good care not to confuse the two."

"A boy walked into class 20 minutes late and really high. My teacher asked him why he was so late and he said, ""I don't know, I think there were more stairs than usual."""

"Why was the fisherman wealthy and prosperous? Because he was a master-baiter."

"What is a chameleon's motto ? A change is as good as a rest !"

"4yo: *shoots me with gun* *stuffs gun in my pocket* *runs away* Me: *Realizes he just made it look like a suicide* *keeping an eye on him*"