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Joke of the Day

"Sex on tv can't hurt unless you fall off."

"A bit of Christmas Doggerel Oh, you better not shout, you better not cry, you better bite the pillow, cuz I'm going in dry."

"At my age, a ""stiffy"" is just my back when I try to crawl out of bed in the morning."

"If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in."

"The baby daddies on 16 & Pregnant/Teen Mom should be used to test air bags."

"You know when birds fly in an arrow formation? You know the reason why one side is sometimes longer then the other? Well, there's more birds on that side."

"Women are like parking spots they are either taken or handicapped."

"Me: [stands under majestic tree watching leaves fall] This is beautiful [2 hours later buried under a mountain of leaves] you piece of shit"

"What does a Spanish cow say? Muuuuuuuey!"

"Homeless Yelp Review: Dumpster behind grocery on Calhoun & Fairfax BARELY had any rotting fruit. Owner chased me off with a bat. 0 stars."