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Joke of the Day

"Why did the climate change denier oversleep? He wasn't worried about all that alarmism."

"I used to steal Mitch Hedberg jokes and post them here for karma I still do, but I used to as well"

"why do giraffes have long necks? because they have smelly feet!!"

"I went to an Indian restaurant and ordered a Pelican curry... ...it wasn't a bad meal, but the bill was enormous."

"What's the difference between a priest and acne? Acne doesn't come on your face until you're a teen."

"What department store is named after the things jews hate the most and love the most? JC Penney. ^I'm ^^going ^^^to ^^^^hell."

"Only sometimes do I use semicolons in my writing; I don't want to sound like a *complete* asshole. edit: grammar. Thanks, /u/jwfiredragon"

"What did Kurt Kobain have such a terrible time in 7th grade? He was having a mid-life crisis."

"My wife is fucking awesome. Although usually I prefer to go by Steven."

"What has four legs, feathers, and can fly? Two birds"