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Joke of the Day

"Who makes more money, a prostitute or a crack dealer? The prostitute, because they just wash their crack and sell it again."

"Waiter my lunch is talking to me ! Well you did ask for a tongue sandwich !"

"What does a rabbi do when life gives him lemons? Makes hacidic jews"

"What's the worst thing to hear during a prostate exam? Look! No hands!"

"Q: How many Scorpios does it take to change a lightbulb? A: So who wants to know? Why do *you* want to know? Are you a cop?"

"When I have to make a difficult decision in life I think what would grandma do, then I leave home in my nightie & shout at random strangers."

"Doctors just assume I want all my blood at a particular pressure."

"*slaps the cup out of the barista's hand* ""No. I want Asriel, the guy with the man-bun, to make my latte. He has a better energy"""

"""Installing this app on a smartphone or tablet will mean everyone in the house can easily adjust the thermostat."" Dads in unison: ""Nooooo!"""

"My phone reception is so clear, I can hear my wife's eyes rolling as I talk."