17634

Joke of the Day

"My boss just told me that I'm doing the work of three men... Moe, Larry and Curly"

"When you think about it , zombies are fixed humans . You just turn them off and on ."

"And remember kids, when you go to Target, there really is no ""non creepy"" way to ask where the Vaseline is."

"[blind date] ""Oh wow, I see you brought your Legos."" *huge sigh* LEGO. It's called Lego."

"You can't spell success without succ... But you'd probably get neither to be honest"

"COP: do you know why I pulled you over? COP'S WIFE: *now next to him on the couch* Because you're scared of the movie COP: Yes it's too real"

"Past, present and future walk into a bar... it was tense"

"A Spanish family surprised me by treating me to dinner. x-post /r/unexpectedcena"

"Did you hear about the pirate who wanted to cut hair for a living? He moved to the barbery coast."

"What do you call a gay man in his house by himself? homolone"