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Joke of the Day

"I have a pill that helps you lose pounds fast its called the brexit pill"

"I just bought something with money at a store. Now I'm taking it home. I guess it's true: you get what you pay for."

"One night stands in hotel rooms just don't do it for me anymore. That's why I always ask for a bed with two night stands."

"Yes, it's me Police officer: ""Can you identify yourself, sir?"" Driver pulls out his mirror and says: ""Yes, it's me."""

"Do you know how fast you were going sir? ""15,000mph?"" Wha? No,like 65? ""Seems pretty slow wouldn't you say?"" I guess so. ""Ok bye"" bye?"

"What did one butt cheek say to the other butt cheek? ""Together, we can stop this shit."""

"My mistress bought me a Neck Clampotron XXX 5 years ago, and I've never looked back since!"

"What do you call a relaxed redneck? A chillbilly."

"MEN 'N' LIGHTBULBS How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, men will screw anything."

"If Wednesday is hump day... ...is Tuesday foreplay day?"