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Joke of the Day

"The Brazil v Germany game last night... ...the most embarrassing semi since I watched Brokeback Mountain with the wife."

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"

"What do you call a walrus that's been hit by a bus? Dead."

"What don't BMWs have that all other manufacturers do? Turn signals"

"Shampoo for my real friends, real poo for my sham friends."

"Here's another great Ellen Pao Joke [deleted]"

"How do you make God laugh? Tell him your plans."

"What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand? He nuts and bolts."

"In the sentence of life, the devil may be a comma - but never let him be the period."

"It's a vagina, not a small business!"