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Joke of the Day

"[first date] Her: omg are you wearing a cape? Lol Me: [texting mom] ok you were right about the cape"

"Here's my review of EA Sorry EA but if you want the review it'll be $5.99 for each letter and $7.99 for each punctuation and comma"

"I've thought long and hard, and have decided on my New Year's resolution...."

"So ladies, Oscar Pistorius is single... and he is ..."

"Why didn't the Jewish Boy Scout come home? He went to the wrong camp. Bonus: I'm a Jewish Boy Scout"

"Wife: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. Me: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on."

"If I had a gun and 2 bullets and I was alone in a room with you, Hitler, and Stalin, I'd look at you like how the fuck did we get in this situation."

"I dig, She digs, He digs, They dig, We all dig.... Its a beautiful poem....very deep."

"I needed a password at least eight characters long ... ... so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs..."

"Mexico doesn't win Olympic medals... ...because all their best runners, jumpers, and swimmers are in the United States."