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Joke of the Day

"Been in an accident? Know someone who's been in an accident? If not, call us & we'll come push you down the stairs or something."

"Excuse me ma'am could you tell me the date? Because you're a total 10/10!"

"6-year-old: Where did the tornado go? Me: Don't worry. It's gone. 6: To where? Me: It just disappeared 6: Isn't that a little bit fishy?"

"I've counted 8 people so far whose New Year's resolutions include ""loose weight"". Can I add spelling to your list too?"

"How do you make a dog stop humping your leg? Pick him up and suck his dick."

"A tree tipped over A lot of pounds crashed to the ground"

"I went to a concert and the DJ asked us to put our hands in the air Unfortunately, I had forgotten my bag of Lays at home"

"Michael Phelps is such a good swimmer... He was conceived anally"

"Three old deaf men on a train in London Deaf man number one says 'IS THIS WEMBLEY?' The second man replies 'NO IT'S THURSDAY.' and the third man replies 'ME TO. LETS GET OFF AND HAVE A PINT'"

"Did you hear about the gay midget? He was just a little queer."