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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an airplane that has sex with both men and women? A biplane."

"Can someone help me, I can't remember,,, Did Sarah Jessica Parker get an Oscar for Sea Biscuit?"

"There is a fine line between ""important to me"" and ""dead to me."" Don't walk it."

"Medusa's hair is made of snakes. Does the carpet match the drapes?"

"Why did the condom go flying through the air? He was pissed off. (It took me an embarrassing amount of time to get this one.)"

"Initially I thought I would rather catch herpes than feelings. But then I realized herpes are forever."

"Just saw a redhead break his arm. #GingerSnap"

"The key to every relationship is honesty. Honesty. Honesty. Honesty. Honesty. ...Gonna keep typing this until she stops looking over my shoulder."

"*me looking at a police lineup* Number 3 is cute. OMG Is he single? Give him my number! What? Oh. Right. Five. Number 5 killed my grandpa."

"One liners Come on /r/jokes, what are your favourite one liners, here's mine: I will not sleep until I find a cure for my insomnia!"