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Joke of the Day

"Stages of beard length: 1.) sexy stubble 2.) sea captain 3.) prisoner of war 4.) homeless person 5.) wizard"

"Step 1: Walk on water. Step 2: Turn water into wine. Step 3: Prophet"

"Q: Where does Napolean keep his armies? A: In his sleevies!"

"What do you call tiny batman? Lil Wayne"

"Having an elliptical in my living room has improved my health. Moving it out of the way when I lay down to watch TV burns like 25 calories"

"When someone tells me they're a bodybuilder, I always ask ""Not the Dr. Frankenstein kind, right?"" because you can never be too careful."

"Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird."

"Imagine if last names were invented now, so instead of ""Smith"" and ""Baker,"" we had ""Frontenddeveloper"" and ""Socialmediaconsultant."""

"Her: My father is very upset that I'm your girlfriend. Me: Well, duh, I'm very upset that you're my girlfriend..."

"There are 3 types of guys in this world 1) Handsome 2) Lucky 3) Me"