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Joke of the Day
"'You have an important event coming up? OwmeeGod, count me in!' -pimples."
Next Joke
"A man is suing a hardware for selling him a bucket with holes in it. Personally, I don't think his argument holds water."
"The letter E is used frequently and infrequently."
"That mini-heartattack you get when you sport a typo in your tweet."
"The Ancient Mayans have predicted the world will end on December 21, 2012. They also worshipped a Corn God named Ah Mun."
"I'm sorry I dropped your baby and doubly sorry I nudged it under the crib with my foot so you wouldn't notice."
"If Jenny has 215 coins in one hand and 412 coins in the other,what does Jenny have? 5 days to live."
"Today marks 365 days of sobriety. 364 more to go"
"What do you call a bear that's not drunk? So-Bear!"
"My mom got remarried to a man with a son, and he just crapped in our bathroom. So now I have a step-father, a step-brother, and a step-stool!"