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Joke of the Day

"Oh, I see you're an extrovert. Sorry, we can't be friends. I already have a friend who's an extrovert. One of you is enough."

"A former boxer decided to go into the writing business There is no punchline."

"I like my car how I like my life. Duty free."

"I like my coffee like I like my women. Without a penis."

"Damn girl, are you an alarm clock? Because no matter how many times I hit you you won't shut the fuck up."

"A screwdriver walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""Hey, we have a drink named after you!"" The screwdriver responds, ""You have a drink named Murray?"""

"My new girlfriend really takes my breath away.... She's inflatable."

"What is the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea? I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face."

"Idk guys, life has never thrown me lemons. Social anxiety, insomnia, mental breakdowns, drugs and eating disorders.. But never lemons."

"Why can't Rabbis eat pork and Priests can't have sex? Because the Rabbis got to choose first."