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Joke of the Day

"I don't have a pet so I decided to adopt the spider living in the corner of my kitchen. Her name is Monique. I hope she isn't knocked up."

"Cool prank: lead 50 pugs to the top of a waterslide & send them down 1 by 1 as the parents waiting at the bottom get increasingly confused"

"Please sign my petition to make Matthew McConaughey the voice for Siri."

"Blind jokes? didn't see that coming.."

"Gin & Tonic: 91 calories. Banana: 105 calories. Choosing the healthy option: Priceless."

"What Came First... The chicken Or the furry?"

"""WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING. YOU SUCK."" I yell at the football player in the TV as I'm sitting on a couch having cake"

"Why do so many guys spit in urinals? Just seems weird that there are that many dudes who salivate at the sight of a wiener."

"There is a company called Kia and a company called Nokia. I'm not sure who to believe."

"The higher they are, the more spaced out they get What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? &nbsp; ^^The ^^punchline ^^need ^^not ^^be ^^always ^^at ^^the ^^end..."