175136

Joke of the Day

"I told my boyfriend yesterday, ""You do look a little Downsy, if I squint."" ""...Or if you squint."""

"White girl frustrated in the 1700's: ""I shan't even"""

"I hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious."

"Why do guys not like to eat pussy first thing in the morning? Because, you know what it's like to open up a grilled cheese sandwich!"

"What's the difference between a blimp and 365 blowjobs? One's a Goodyear; the other's a great year."

"I found out my best friend was a heroin addict... Needles to say, that friendship ended quickly."

"Hard to believe the Cubs last won the World Series 108 years ago. Most of them don't look a day over 30."

"Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he's a fungi."

"When I was younger, I was so stupid, I made bad decisions that will haunt me for the rest of my life. And by ""younger"" I mean yesterday."

"I checked my hotel room for left behind goods and all I found was this lousey comb. I guess you could say my room was bugged."