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Joke of the Day

"Have you seen Kindergaten cop? It was such a good movie, they could easily make one or tumor."

"Food snobs ""May I take your order? "" the waiter asked. ""Yes, how do you prepare your chickens? "" ""Nothing special sir,"" he replied. ""We just tell them straight out that they're going to die. """

"My productivity at work has gone down 43% since corporate bought me a swivel chair."

"Heard about the magic tractor? It went down a road and turned into a field."

"[park] STRANGER: Your dog is unusual looking ME: Yeah, he's interbred DUCK: [waddles up] I'll tell you who else is into bread"

"What do you call the small amount of time between when you slip on a peel and when you hit the pavement? A bananosecond"

"What do you get hanging from apple trees? Sore arms"

"Remember that time you were reluctant to test my latest invention ""amnesia pills"" but did anyway? ""No"" excellent."

"A word to the wise. A paragraph to the smart. A long-form essay to the oblivious. A silent, meaningful gesture to the enlightened."

"Knock, Knock. Who's there? To To Who? Um, it's 'to whom'."