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Joke of the Day

"Me: Can my gift this year be a new secretary. Boss: I cannot legally assign you anyone until your last secretary's case goes to trial..."

"What's brown and runny? Usian Bolt"

"Have you heard what they say about luck? It could be raining pussy and I'd get slapped in the face with a sweaty dick."

"Anonymity on the internet allows us to be whatever we want to be, but I'm glad most of us went with ""perverted idiot""."

"What has four wheels and can't support a family? A liberal arts major. I lied about the wheels."

"I like how the dude in the next self-checkout lane is trying to disarm me with small talk like we don't both know this is a goddamn race"

"Physics Joke A photon walks into a hotel and the bellman says ""can I help you with your bags?"" And the photon replies, ""no it's ok, I'm traveling light."""

"My friend died from eating too much waterfowl I thought he had lived a good, happy life He told me that he was full of Egrets"

"I'd tell a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction..."

"What do blind people think of a basketball? It's a never ending story."