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Joke of the Day
"If you wear a radioactive belt... ...you end up with nuclear waist."
Next Joke
"I asked for your advice but now I'm angry with you because I don't like your advice."
"Carl: Cold out night. Me: Tell me something I don't know. Carl: NASA found LSD improved spiders' ability to make webs. Me: Fair enough."
"""look, you know i LOVE calling birds. love. but FOUR? jesus, phil, i don't have room for this shit and you knew that!"""
"What kind of dog did the sad cantaloupe get? A melon collie!"
"I farted on the bus today and four people turned around I felt like I was on The Voice"
"What's the difference between you and a calendar? A calendar has dates..."
"Q: What is the difference between Dan Quayle Bill Clinton and Jane Fonda? A: Jane Fonda went to Vietnam."
"Just passed a cop on a bicycle, I hope I used my turn signal properly or I might get a detention or whatever they hand out"
"What do you call a hippie that can't cook? Burning ham!"