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Joke of the Day

"Why were the flies playing football in saucer ? They where playing for the cup !"

"What time does the funny stuff start around here? I can come back..."

"S/O to side walks, my legs, elevators, my arm, and my eyes For keeping me off the streets, helping me to stand up for my self, picking me up when I'm down, giving me a hand and showing me the light."

"I used to rub my hair together when I was stressed... But now I'm dreading the consequences."

"I always wanted to be self-confident. Well, look at me now. Actually, don't."

"A Sleepwalking Nun What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A roamin' catholic"

"I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live. Patient: ""What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"" Doctor: ""Nine."""

"Arnold Swarzeneggar pushup contest. Arnold Swarzeneggar challenged former President George W. Bush to a pushup contest, and the President accepted. Swarzeneggar did 910, But Bush did 911."

"Might wake up early and go for a jog. Might also win the lottery... odds are about the same."

"I'm selling books on how to avoid saying the wrong thing and getting into fights. Who wants some?"