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Joke of the Day

"78% of parenting is spent anxiously praying they don't notice the minuscule lego piece you just vacuumed up."

"Why did Hitler really commit suicide? He got his gas bill."

"what happens when you pop a cherry? she starts crying"

"What's the difference between a hockey player and a hippy chick? A hockey player showers after 3 periods."

"What do you call cute seeds? Awwwwwwwwwwwwmonds P.S. it's my birthday please love me"

"What did the racist chess player say? All Rook same!"

"John Fogerty's ""Centerfield"" makes no sense. I'm pretty sure he'd fly first-class."

"(nsfw) What do pimples and catholic priests have in common? They both start coming on boys' faces around age 13."

"What is the difference between sex and golf? In golf, less strokes is enough to win. I could actually use some help refining the punchline on this one if anyone has some ideas."

"Did you hear that the Energizer Bunny got arrested? He was charged with assault and battery."