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Joke of the Day

"Gremlins(1984): a shopkeeper with a creature so powerful it could destroy all human life gives it to a 12yo boy. Many lives are lost.(PG13)"

"I always thought Apple was filled with giant assholes, but boy was I wrong Turns out they're really just tiny jack-offs"

"Why did the bicycle fall down? because it was two-tired."

"Guys, can we please stop making jokes about Donald Trump? Otherwise, we'll all have hell toupee."

"Ideas that aren't profitable Don't make any cents"

"Why should you never have oral sex? It really sucks."

"I hate when I'm in a room with 3 other people, & I have to shove the entire kit kat in my mouth."

"Why are drug addicts bad at billiards? Because they only pay to shoot up the eight ball"

"What did the duck say to the bartender put it on my bill"

"Know the difference between St. Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day? On St. Patrick's Day everyone wants to be Irish."