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Joke of the Day

"The time you really begin to envy your cat Monday morning."

"I see your choices and raise you one eyebrow."

"Cheetah is not the fastest animal on the earth. If a cheetah runs after you, You will run faster."

"My mothers nearly 80 and she still doesn't need glasses. She drinks right out of the bottle!"

"How many hippies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Hippies don't screw in lightbulbs, they screw in dirty sleeping bags."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bolzano ! Bolzano who ? Bolzano the door !"

"I see a border patrol car drive by... So I ask my mexican co-woker if he has his visa. He looks at me cofused for a minute then says ""no no I only have debit card"" (true story)"

"Why don't catholics wear condoms? Because little boys can't get pregnant."

"Computer: Do you trust this device? Me: Why? Is there something you're not telling me?"

"My sister-in-law has step-children and that's awful, why won't she use regular stairs like everyone else"