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Joke of the Day

"How do u know if a company that just hired you conducts drug tests? What is the likelihood it will be a hairtest"

"Why did the star wars fan kill a blind man? Because he joined the dark side."

"Why do people with bulimia nervosa love KFC? Because your meal comes with a bucket!"

"If Trump wins the election I am __________________ Fill in the blank"

"The best way to lie is to tell the truth, carefully edited truth."

"Me: How are you doing? Is our date starting to feel a bit awkward? Her: Yeah, a little... Me: I was talking to my mom! Mom: No, I'm fine."

"So, Nintendo recently acquired a printing press Word is, they're printing ninten-dough."

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I have never wanted to have a garbanzo bean in my mouth."

"What do you call a man who thinks women are easy to lie to? Deceased"

"Me: Ready for school? 7yo: [in only underwear with pants tied around his neck like a scarf & a sock on each hand] Almost"