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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the new machine that creates earthquakes? It was groundbreaking."

"So my father-in-law asked me to give the Christmas prayer... Apparently Ezekiel 25:17 is ""inappropriate"""

"If I spray a mosquito with mosquito repellant... Will he be so filled with self loathing that he commits suicide?"

"Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?"

"Calling someone a ""protestor"" is now racist... Yupp. That's a real joke."

"What quality was the wine that Jesus made ? Bloody good."

"I got fired from my last job for arranging the vegetables into sexual position Apparently that's ""misconduct"" for a special needs teacher."

"Why was the pianist so depressed? Because they weren't good at Chopin."

"What's the smartest thing that ever came out of Einstein's wife's mouth? Einstein's dick."

"I don't know. I feel like a zoo that specialized in morbidly obese animals would be a fun time but I've had a few drinks so I don't know."