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Joke of the Day
"I'm at my most audacious and brazen when I shamelessly use words like audacious and brazen."
Next Joke
"I read in the paper about a hooker starting her own business.... They said that she had a good soft-opening."
"My neighborhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs.. I've been his customer for 6 years. I had no idea he was a barber."
"Why are Jewish Men Circumcised? Because Jewish women don't touch anything unless it's 20% off!"
"Me: A wise man once said... Wife: STOP QUOTING YOURSELF!"
"What did cheese say when it looked in the mirror? Halloumi"
"Masturbation: It *comes in hand*y."
"Nothing snaps a woman into full blown CSI mode faster than an unfamiliar ponytail holder in her car."
"Triscuits are a good snack if you've already eaten all the other snacks in your house and the boxes they came in and your own hands"
"I read an article about the dangers of heavy drinking the other day, and it really scared me! So that's it... Starting today, no more reading."