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Joke of the Day

"My poetic look on the election Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Damn it, America! What the fuck did you do?!"

"I'm concerned about my local funeral parlour closing down It's right on the high street, but every time I walk past it's dead in there"

"Why do women only use putters while playing golf? Because women can't drive."

"What happens when you bring beer to a BYU party? All the girls put on their panties and go home."

"POLICE: Sir, do you know how fast you were going? ME: Jealous much?"

"I watched my neighbor get evicted the other day... ...It was a moving experience."

"Last night I got drunk and lonely, so I tried the peanut butter with my dog trick... ...still tasted like dog cock."

"We all have one ginger friend that claims to be ""strawberry blonde""."

"Why does Tiger Woods have a bad sex life? He always finishes in the least amount of strokes."

"What do you call a man with no shins? Tony."