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Joke of the Day

"So there are the baby boomers, generation x, and millenials. What do we call the next generation? Fucked."

"How many feet are in a yard? 4 if you have a dog."

"I've been offered a new, highly demanding job testing the new Super-strength Viagra'. I think I'll take it, how hard can it be?"

"America is finally getting around to banning some dangerous weapons after the latest mass shooting Its a shame nobody was killed by a flag"

"Chuck Norris uses pens on Scantron sheets."

"She's so wrinkled, her mother was a Shar Pei."

"The funniest thing about being sober is to realize you were so drunk last night you were tweeting all night with a calculator."

"Funny joke! What is Charlie sheens middle name? Washingma CHARLIE WASHINGMA SHEEN"

"I learned all my flirting from lizards so I just do a bunch of really fast pushups when I see a cute lizard."

"1. Denial 2. Anger 3. Bargaining 4. Depression 5. Acceptance ... The 5 stages of buying petrol."