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Joke of the Day

"I am completely outraged by JJ Abrahms saying the next Star Wars will have an openly gay character in his science fiction franchise Star wars is Science Fantasy, not Science Fiction"

"[scrabble] BATMAN: pass SUPERMAN: again? BATMAN: can't spell anything SUPERMAN: *rubbing temples* not every word has to start with BAT"

"I'd rather hear my parents describe how they have sex than hear a group of drunk chicks when their favorite song comes on."

"How does a black women tell she is pregnant? When she pulls the tampon out and the cotton is already picked."

"I have the Anne Hathaway ""It came true!"" reaction whenever the guy at Subway hands me my sandwich."

"What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? (LONG) Damn."

"I knew the Psychic was a phony as soon as she accepted my check."

"My dad asked me if it's true that if you spend too much time on Reddit, you'll become an idiot ""Kek"", I said."

"Parents: ""Why don't you come socialize with the family?"" Me: *sits with family* *gets insulted by entire family* *goes back to bedroom*"

"Girl called me the other day and said: 'Come on over, nobody's home' I went over, nobody was home."