173822

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? a Lickalottapus"

"No matter how hard I tried to push the envelope... It was still stationery."

"I hate when people people ask me what I'm doing in 5 years I mean like, come on guys I don't have 20/20 vision."

"Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off."

"Why do drug dealers love Muslims? Because they are always stoned."

"(interviewer): do you have any questions? (me): ya can a werewolf bite really kill a vampire?"

"How do single people honor valentine's day? By Celibating!"

"I have a fear of speed bumps... ...I'm slowly getting over it."

"What does a Jewish cat say at weddings? Meowzel tov"

"The people of Baltimore played GTA yesterday... Tonight they will see the National Guard play Call of Duty."