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Joke of the Day

"How do single people honor valentine's day? By Celibating!"

"Was on a date with this girl and she asked me if I would tell her my Reddit username, so I did. My face still hurts."

"What did one unemployed cancer cell say to the other? Lets get Jobs!"

"What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile"

"looks like our killer left his calling card. 5 cents/min to canada, 7c/min to puerto rico. he knows what he's doing."

"My friends are weird. They keep vegetables in their beer crisper. Freaks"

"Why do the French have so many civil wars? So they can win one every now and again. (Thanks, John Cleese! This was too good not to share.)"

"My mum was killed by cancer... Wait no, my dad was a Sagittarius."

"What's the difference between oral and anal sex? Oral sex makes your day. Anal sex makes your hole weak."

"Black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.... and the bartender says ""Hey, that's pretty cool. Where'd you get it? "" The parrot said, "" Africa, they have millions of them."""