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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a lentil and a chick pea? Well, for starters I would never pay $200 to have a lentil on my face."

"I asked mom once how she knew dad was ""the one"". ""because,"" she replied, ""DNA tests don't lie."""

"We could power our entire office with the wind produced from my constant sighing."

"What's the opposite of Stephen Hawking? Stephen Talking."

"She can argue for 4 hours straight... but ten minutes into a blowjob and her jaw hurts."

"I was going to suggest Twitter to have a live Nativity scene but I think it's going to be impossible. A virgin and 3 wise men? On here?!"

"I saw The Joker working at a winter apparel store. He turned to me and said ""You wanna know how I got these scarves?"""

"Why was the desperate teen spinning in circles around the hot chick? Because he really wanted that beyblade."

"I just ate 40 cheese sticks in a row! BAM! Looks like I don't need a ""family"" to get ""value"" out of your stupid bag!"

"A termite walks into a bar and asks... ... Where's the bar tender?"