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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a lentil and a chick pea? Well, for starters I would never pay $200 to have a lentil on my face."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cargo ! Cargo who ? Cargo better if you fill it with gas first !"

"My girlfriend lives on the east coast of Virginia. She's my Chesapeake Bae."

"Just blocked all users from Central & South America. I doubt this ""Zika"" virus can spread thru social media but why take the risk?"

"Two trucks carrying thesauruses got in a wreck... Onlookers were aghast, amazed, appalled, astonished, astounded, dismayed, offended, shocked, stunned, upset..."

"How to eat French fries: 1) Eat all the good ones. 2) Leave the yucky ones and feel superior. 3) Wait 5 minutes. 4) Eat all the yucky ones."

"Why did the mafia cross the road? Hey forget about it"

"[maid of honor speech] Never thought this day would come! Remember when you came home early & he was wearing your bra & panties [mom faints]"

"What has 2 legs and looses a lot of blood? Half a dog"

"So I heard Russia banned Scientology... I guess they're not Putin up with that."