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Joke of the Day

"I asked mom once how she knew dad was ""the one"". ""because,"" she replied, ""DNA tests don't lie."""

"Not to brag or anything, but I got the high score on my scale today."

"Waiter: How did you find your steak sir? Customer: Oh I just moved the potatoes and there it was!"

"3 things that happened today 1. My friend says he hates reddit 2. My friend gets hit by a bus 3. I loose my bus driver license"

"the moon is a man because if it were a woman... We would have blood moons once a month."

"What do you get when you have 50 female pigs and 50 male deer? One hundred sowsand bucks"

"I would talk about computer science... But it makes my mother board"

"What should you say to a pig on roller skates? Don't say anything. Just get out of the way."

"Why didn't the life guard save the hippy? He was too far out, man."

"Of course, Tony the Tiger isn't his real name. It's Lord Antoine le Tigris of Kellogg."