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Joke of the Day

"I just heard my friend suffocated working at a nescafe factory. I was worried he suffered but luckily, it was instant."

"What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs on the floor Matt"

"Two dyslexics walk in to a bra"

"I just painted my toenails whore red, then immediately confined them to tight heels so they know what shameful little sluts they are."

"Why did microsoft go directly to windows 10? Because windows 7 8 9"

"""Paper or plastic?"" Sorry i have a boyfriend ""Thats cool, but how should i bag your grocer-"" I think we should just be friends"

"If you do not say it, they can't repeat it."

"What did the squash say to the cucumber when he saw the pumpkin patch get blown up? Oh My Gourd!"

"I just don't have enough middle fingers for today."

"Water is the cure to everything in life If you need to lose weight, drink water. If you need clearer skin, drink water. If your tired of your wife, drown her."