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Joke of the Day
"My appointment at Gamblers Anonymous is at 25 to 1..."
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"""You never tell me you love me,"" said my girlfriend. I said, ""That's because you never ask."" She said, ""Do you want me to?"" ""Go for it,"" I replied. She said, ""Do you love me?"" I said, ""No."""
"What do you get if a convict goes camping? Criminal Intent."
"Remember when Indiana Jones risked having his arm crushed to rescue his hat? I'd do that for my iPhone."
"How do you fit 50 Jews in a car? 2 in the front 3 in the back and 45 in the ash tray."
"A bit of Christmas Doggerel Oh, you better not shout, you better not cry, you better bite the pillow, cuz I'm going in dry."
"I once dated a woman who thought windmills were solar powered. I'm so glad I don't drink anymore."
"[NSFW] My priest told me I had to stop masturbating. I asked, ""Why?"" He told me, ""The confessional is getting all sticky."""
"What's the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani hospital? I don't know, I just fly the drone."
"Beer must contain Estrogen... When I drink enough, I can't drive or shut the hell up."