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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend was just killed in a car accident. Devastating. I can't believe I'm only going to have sex with her one more time."

"You can always tell if a guy masturbates a lot by looking at his hands. If you look closely, you'll see a wedding ring."

"Every morning when the alarm goes off, I wake up & say ""it's time to chase my dreams!"" & then I press the snooze button & go back to sleep."

"Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg? He's all right now."

"A group of dogs walk into a University. They approach the receptionist who says, ""Hi, can I help you?"" ""Yeah,"" one of the dogs reply, ""We wanna see our Masters."""

"How does Lady Gaga like her meat? Raw Raw Rawhahaha..."

"Did you hear about the new mobile dating app for pedophiles? Kinder."

"Why do java coders wear glasses? Because they don't C#"

"You know who's really upset about Romney losing? Wire coat hanger manufacturers."

"Hate it when I get carried away with emotions. Lost a who-blinks-1st competition with a box of donuts & had to eat em all in a fit of rage"