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Joke of the Day

"Why couldn't the dimwit read more than one sentence? There was a full stop"

"Next time I see a dead deer on the side of the road, I'm gonna leave and come back dressed as Santa with a sign that says ""Help, need ride!"

"I really hope to die as peacefully as my grandfather did. Nothing like his passengers, though. They must have been losing their minds before the plane hit the trees."

"[Voice from police helicopter] PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR! *raises hands* *takes flattering selfie in helicopter spotlight* *uploads new avi*"

"For Halloween, our daughter is dressing up as joke telling jack-o'-lantern. She's our little pun-kin."

"Why did the worlds shortest feminist burn down a post shop? Because the mail was always above her."

"What do you call an anarchist who does skateboard tricks Radical"

"To all my Atheist and Agnostic friends. T_IF!"

"What did the Leper say to the hooker? Keep the tip."

"Star Wars Joke... What did Obi-Wan Kenobi tel Luke Skywalker at the brothel? ""Luke! May the whores be with you!"""