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Joke of the Day

"[taking atendance] teacher: jimmy jimmy: here teacher: susie susie: here teacher: (sighs) omnipresemt sentinel omnipresent sentinel: always"

"Wow dude asks ""What brings you here?"" $14.99 per month and a addiction to a game that's been failing since Cata"

"Dating blacks girls is a plus because you don't have to meet their fathers"

"[texting] So what's your name? ""ily"" omg this is moving too fast. ILY: (yelling) IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN MOM, WHY DID YOU NAME ME THAT?"

"When Magnesium and Oxygen started dating I was like, ""O MG!"""

"Illegal immigrants do jobs that Americans don't want. Like marrying Donald Trump."

"What type of meat are your calves made of? Bologna."

"What do you call a top-ranking Mexican dude that oversees everything? Senor Manager"

"There is so much dust on that drawer that if you sneeze on it mattress will fall out."

"What is the best thing about having sex with a transgender? Reaching around and pretending it went all the way through."