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Joke of the Day

"Food choices How come almost everything that tastes good is bad and almost everything that tastes bad is good?"

"Water bears are so badass... if they fall into the pits at La Brea, the tar degrades."

"Did you hear that they exhumed the body of John Lennon? All they found was a dead beetle..."

"I cannot take my new pet cat seriously She's always kitten around"

"Who should of gotten asphalt? Cleopatra."

"I'm open to change but not when it's sudden like Stephen Colbert getting new glasses with no warning"

"I like to throw a fake punch at a hooker's crotch. If she flinches, I know it's a dude."

"Dentist: ""You need a crown."" - Patient: ""Finally someone who understands me"""

"Q: When ducks fly in a V, why is one side of the V longer than the other? A: There are more ducks on that side."

"What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh"