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Joke of the Day
"The ultimate home security system is having shitty stuff."
Next Joke
"why do they throw shit at a pakistani wedding? keeps the flies away from the bride"
"What do you call a baby Matt Damon? A new-Bourne"
"My bank is really proud of me. They keep calling to tell me I have an outstanding balance."
"Sorry if this is a repost but I'm new here Why are hurricanes named after women's? Because they're wild and wet when they come but when they leave, they take the house and car."
"[kitchen] ""Please pass the bee-nut butte-"" *wife glares* ""-the honey"""
"Deeper deeper if we're having sex don't tell me ""deeper deeper"". if I could go deeper I would. you don't see me saying ""tighter""."
"Are you danish Because im going to leave a denmark on that ass"
"Apparently they're removing the essay section from the SAT Now it's just going to be called the T."
"I can't say enough good things about my grandmother. She just isn't very nice."