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Joke of the Day
"Walked past a hero turned to stone I guess the gods took him for granite"
Next Joke
"When people start praying before a meal, I close my eyes and imagine how far I could throw a potato if I really put my heart into it."
"I admitted to my crush that I have feelings for her, but she told me she's only attracted to assholes Which is awesome, because now she won't leave mine alone!"
"Me: ""Get me a newspaper.""Friend: ""Don't be silly. Here. Borrow my iPad."" Poor spider never knew what hit it."
"Whats the difference between a hispanic and a book. The book has papers."
"Fool me once shame on you, Unless you're speaking Spanish, then that's eleven times and I probably deserved it."
"I asked my friend to try and jump start my car. Fat bastard smashed my windshield."
"What do you call a Chinese man with a bad sense of direction? Wong Wei"
"What do you call a Frenchman that's been attacked by a bear? Claude"
"Why don't lamps talk? They're antisocial lights."