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Joke of the Day

"Just explained the Higgs Boson to my friend even tho I don't understand it. He was very convinced. I bet this is how religions get started."

"A Person With Autism Walks Into A Bar ""Ouch"" he says."

"What did Jupiter say to Saturn when he found out Saturn was pregnant? Did you planet?"

"I'll believe self-help books work when I see a bunch of them on a sane person's bookshelf."

"My old best friend ran off years ago to pursue his dream of becoming a mime... I haven't heard from him since."

"""woofwoof, woof"" -my neighbor's dog telling me his views on politics lol you gotta look at both sides tho fam"

"What's the worst thing about being an atheist? You have no one to call to when you're having an orgasm."

"New glasses ""New glasses? They look super, man!"" Clark Kent begins to sweat."

"finally got to see someone in my facebook feed react to an onion article as if it were real news. today was a big day."

"COMMERCIAL: [a man is having his bloody infected foot amputated] Narrator: SHOES"